


this labyrinth that we shall break

by corsica



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, callbacks to CCC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28802583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corsica/pseuds/corsica
Summary: In a dark room, with the world in a dismal state, there is a pitiful Master and a Servant who tries to help them.Only this time, Jinako is the Servant.
Relationships: Jinako Carigiri & Fujimaru Ritsuka
Kudos: 12





	this labyrinth that we shall break

She stands in the doorway of her Master's bedroom.

The only illumination in the room comes from what bleeds in from the hallway, forming a large block of light that stretches out Jinako's shadow until it melds with the inky darkness of the room, and from the smartphone that Ritsuka holds in her hand as she lays silently in her bed, under the covers. Jinako can't remember what she had been saying before she opened the door, because she is no longer in the Chaldea, or the Wandering Sea, nor is she even still a Servant. She is a regular human, back in the Moon Cell, and she is scared out of her mind as she huddles in a janitor's closet, knowing that she is trapped.

But this time, she stands where Karna had.

And she thinks, if this is how pitiful she had looked, cocooned in a comforter as her eyes went dry staring at a computer screen, keeping her mind occupied enough to drive away the thoughts of how worthless she was, then she owes Karna another thank you.

Her hand slowly slides off the door frame as she finally, fully, steps inside, and the block of light from the hallway turns into a trickle that glows from the crack under the door as it closes. All Jinako can do is stand motionless, her hands fiddling together, because she does not know how to make things better.

Ritsuka seems to finally notice her, and her head turns slightly towards Jinako.

“...Do you need something, Ganesha?” she asks, belatedly, in a tone of voice that is low and monotonous.

“Uh,” Jinako scratches the back of her head, “Ehehe~~Well, I can't...quite remember.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Silence hangs in the air.

Jinako feels so incredibly awkward, and she looks over her shoulder, back towards the door. It's tempting to leave, and to go find Mash, or Karna, two people Ritsuka is incredibly close to, two people who know how to deal with situations like this better than Jinako does, probably ever will. But going to find them and letting them take care of everything while she wipes her hands of the situation feels callous, and it leaves a bad taste in her mouth.

And she would be lying if she said she didn't like Ritsuka, both as a Master, and as a person, so she resolves to at least try.

“Er...” Jinako shifts her weight from one foot to the other and back, “Everything okay?”

She already knows the answer to that, and Ritsuka undoubtedly knows that Jinako knows the answer to that.

“Yeah, everything's fine.”

...But, Jinako thinks, it wouldn't be Ritsuka if she didn't shove things down in her efforts to keep going forward. At least it's better than shoving things down in an effort to forget about the past.

(To forget about all the years spent wasted in an empty, meaningless life.)

“Jeez...you're a bad liar,” Jinako crosses her arms, “Y'know, you can just lemme know if you're all worn out from the Lostbelts. It's fine to be tired n' stuff.”

Ritsuka doesn't say anything, but Jinako watches as she shuffles beneath the blankets until she's sitting up in bed. The phone in her hand lights up her face in a sickly white glow, and her head is tipped down as she continues to keep her gaze fixed on the screen. Jinako takes a few steps towards her, and as she gets closer, she can see the dark circles beneath Ritsuka's eyes that contrast sharply against the fluorescent light on her face.

“I am worn out, but,” Ritsuka grips her phone tighter, “It's not...”

She moves her legs to make room for Jinako as she sits down on the side of the bed, and Jinako idly kicks her chubby legs back and forth as she waits for Ritsuka to keep talking.

“...I thought I was doing okay at adjusting to everything,” her lips twitch up into an unsure smile as she starts talking, “The Old Chaldea is gone, but—but we have a new one, almost the exact same as how it used to be. And Da Vinci might be gone, but she's not _really_ gone. I may have seen her die in front of me, but she's still here, sort of. And Dr. Roman may actually be permanently gone, and I'll never be able to see him again, but at least I still have Mash by my side, at least I didn't lose her for good. Even if she's breaking down because of all the lives we've had to take, she's still here with me.”

Jinako watches as two drops of water fall onto her phone screen.

“I really thought that...I had a strong will to go on,” her voice starts to wobble, “But,” it cracks, “When I saw what day today was, I remembered, that, it's my Mom's birthday, today.”

Her head tips down even further, and her hair obscures her face as she shakes her head. More tears drop onto her phone screen before her hold on it goes lax, slipping halfway out of her hands, and Jinako can see a picture of a pretty, redheaded woman on the dimmed screen before it goes entirely black. Jinako's eyes adjust to the complete darkness of the room, and she sees Ritsuka cover her face with her hands.

“And I can't—.” she grits her teeth, but is unable to hold back a sob, “I can't handle feeling this alone.”

Jinako opens her mouth to speak, but the next seven words rip the air from her lungs.

“I just miss my parents so much.”

Ritsuka says nothing else. It is all she can do to breathe as she weeps.

For a moment, Jinako does not see Fujimaru Ritsuka in front of her; she sees Carigiri Jinako, age 15, waking up from another dream where her parents are still alive. This reminder of how she spent many of her nights, for over fifteen years, is like a knife twisting in her gut. Her past ghosts hang heavy in the room as she tries to think of what she can do, other than sit silently and fall back to memories of how things used to be. It is all so deeply uncomfortable; she desperately wishes Karna were here instead, in her place, as he would know what to do to make Ritsuka feel better, as he would be able to witness this without feeling as ill as Jinako does right now, because even though part of her recognizes Parvati as her mother, Jinako knows, deep down, that she is not _her_ mother. Parvati does not have the same soft, graying hair or the same warmth in her eyes when she looks at Ganesha—and solely Ganesha.

There is always going to be a missing piece Jinako knows she will never get back.

But she also knows that she is not alone. Karna opened her eyes to it, and Ritsuka has done nothing but confirm it since she has been summoned to Chaldea.

So she resolves to try.

“...I know what you're going through, Master,” Jinako carefully pivots towards Ritsuka, and she notices that her own eyes are beginning to water, “And it, um...sucks...a lot. But you're not alone,” she pushes up her glasses with her hand as she rubs at her eyes, “Ah~~I'm really no good at this, am I?”

That gets a small, but audible, laugh from Ritsuka, and she wipes her eyes with her forearm.

“N-No, it's fine,” tears are still rolling down her cheeks as she looks at Jinako, but she is at least smiling now, albeit weakly, “Thank you, Ganesha. And...” her smile slides off her face, and she swallows, “I'm sorry...about your parents.”

Jinako can feel her chest tighten and her eyes only well up more.

“Awh, come on, I'm supposed to be the one making _you_ feel better!” a few stray tears fall from her eyes, and Jinako wipes them away, “Jeez...”

“Sorry, sorry,” Ritsuka laughs, then hiccups, and reaches for a box of tissues on her nightstand, “I think, um,” she sighs, and dabs at her eyes, balling up the tissue and tossing it towards a nearby garbage can, “The hardest part is the fact that...this is the second time...that I've lost them. They came back after we stopped the Incineration of Humanity, and I was supposed to go back to live with them, but then...” she laughs again, but it's humorless, and has a bitter tinge to it, “It all just got...yanked away from me.”

Jinako's eyes go downcast.

“I'm sorry,” she brings her legs up onto the bed, and pulls them close to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, “Even I didn't get gut-punched with false hope like that,” she rests her cheek on her bent knee, looking at Ritsuka, “...I know I'm pretty useless, being a NEET and all...there's not a whole lot I can do on my own. I can't even comfort you properly! Ueh...” she sighs, “But...well, if you ever feel down and wanna play something to take your mind off things, or if you wanna watch anime or somethin'...I'd be happy keeping you company~”

Jinako leans over, reaching her hand out just enough to pat Ritsuka on the head, and Ritsuka covers her mouth as she giggles, before smiling brightly at Jinako, and the room seems a little less dark when she does.

“...Thanks,” Ritsuka's voice breaks, and she wipes at her eyes again, “...And don't sell yourself short. I...I do feel better. I think I needed that...just spending all day in bed, looking at the pictures I still have of them...couldn't have helped.”

“It's nice to look at the pictures you have of them, sometimes,” Jinako closes her eyes, “...But it's pretty easy to get lost in the memories you have. It's even easier to start thinking too much about...all the things that could've happened differently,” she untucks her legs, and lets one hang off the side of the bed while the other stays propped up, “...If you start feeling that way again, come find me. Chances are, we could both use the distraction.”

Ritsuka nods.

“...Okay.”

Jinako hops off the bed, and places her hands on her hips.

“In fact, let's go play somethin' right now. Actually, that game I've been playing, I'm stuck on this one boss, maybe you can give me a hand with it? I could be missing something and a fresh pair of eyes might help.”

Ritsuka exhales out a quiet laugh, and fully comes out from beneath her covers.

“Alright. That sounds fun.”

“Go grab some snacks from the cafeteria beforehand, though!” Jinako says while Ritsuka climbs out of her bed, “If I don't get the proper amount of sweets, I won't play well at—!”

She's cut off as she feels Ritsuka wrap her arms around her. Her hands are clammy, and her skin is hot from being under her blankets for so long, and Jinako can feel just how wrinkled her Mystic Code is as it presses against her bare stomach.

“Thank you,” Ritsuka sniffs, and her voice shakes as she speaks, but she is crying again despite herself, “Trying to cheer me up, not even caring about how weak I look right now...it's like you're my big sister.”

_'...it's like you're my dad. The most indulgent dad ever, too.'_

...It really is strange, Jinako thinks, to be able to see things from the other side.

Jinako does not consider herself to even be close to the level of magnanimous that Karna—effortlessly—is, nor does she think she particularly changed that much when she became host to Ganesha. She is still a NEET, through and through, and she whines through most necessary battles if she doesn't cajole Ritsuka into taking her off the front line entirely. But in spite of all that, in spite of everything, Ritsuka still trusts her completely. Ritsuka believes in her as much as Karna did. And even though Jinako has been around Ritsuka for long enough to know that's just the way she is, it is still so strange, to have somebody believe so wholly in her, when she still struggles with doing the same towards herself.

“...Well,” she says, with a gentle smile on her face, and her arms come up to wrap around Ritsuka's back, “I'm glad I could be useful, Master~”

Maybe she'll get there one day. For now, though, all she can do is try.


End file.
